The Sacred Mirror: explore love from a different angle
❤️🔥 a 4-card spread for your weekend
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Hello friends,
Welcome to the end of the week. My corner of Minnesota is getting a nice, white snow blanket today before the temps plummet. This is good news for the creatures and plants as it adds some much-needed insulation.
GBBC
Speaking of creatures, this weekend is the GBBC, or the Great Backyard Bird Count! It’s super easy to participate no matter where you are in the world. Just carve out 15 mins in the next 4 days, grab the app, and log the birds you see.
According to the site, “These observations help scientists better understand global bird populations before one of their annual migrations.”
I’ve already seen over 10 species in my yard today, which seems magical every time I think about it.
I have so many interesting neighbors.
Life’s sacred mirrors
The more I explore books, coaching programs, therapy, and life in general, the more I am guided back to what I’m calling one of life’s sacred mirrors: learning to love the Self.
I get it, we hear it all the time “Love yourself” and “Self-care is self-love” and blah, blah, blah.
Stuff doesn’t really mean anything if it’s mind-numbingly ubiquitous, so I get it if you hear self-love and throw up a little in your mouth.
Here’s the thing, it’s one of the core roots of a healthy life and most of us figure this out late in life or not at all.
Relationships
I’m not a big “commercial holiday” type of person, but I do appreciate Valentine’s Day as a reminder to love myself and others. And that’s what I wanted to explore today.
Tarot practitioners get asked about love and relationships a lot. It’s one of life’s great quests, right? I agree, it’s something I’ve struggled with, failed at, and tried to get right for as long as I can remember.
Relationships, in this case, don’t have to mean intimate, partner-type bonds. It’s friends, family, and all the humans in your sphere. And whenever we hit a stumbling block in any type of relationship, the sacred mirror (or shadow work) beckons us.
Laura Matsue often describes shadow work as the process of bringing unconscious patterns, wounds, and projections into conscious awareness so that we can heal and integrate them.
A core principle she emphasizes is that what triggers us in others is often a reflection of something unresolved within ourselves.
That’s always a good one to read twice.
“When you feel deeply triggered or irritated by someone, it’s often because they are mirroring an aspect of yourself that you haven’t fully accepted, healed, or integrated.”
She explains this using The Mirror Effect:
• If someone’s arrogance bothers you, ask: Where am I suppressing my own confidence or self-expression?
• If someone’s lack of boundaries annoys you, ask: Where am I failing to uphold my own?
• If you envy someone’s success, ask: Where am I holding myself back?
When I first began exploring shadow work about a decade ago I was annoyed. And maybe that’s how you’re feeling, too, especially if the concept is new-ish. Like, I don’t want to believe that what I get upset about in someone else is something within myself I need to explore.
Ugh.
There’s a reason this is mystery school-level stuff. It’s deep and complicated, and you’re likely never going to be “done” with it.
Let’s look in the mirror
Bookmark and journal this spread and use it anytime you feel the need to reflect in your own mirror.
The Sacred Mirror Spread (4 Cards)
What is being reflected back to me in my relationships right now? (What patterns, emotions, or lessons am I seeing through others?)
What part of myself am I struggling to see or accept? (A shadow aspect that’s asking for awareness and integration.)
How can I work with this reflection instead of resisting it? (A way to embrace, heal, or use this awareness for growth.)
What shifts when I bring love and understanding to this part of myself? (A glimpse of what’s possible when I meet myself with self-acceptance.)
the cards
decks: The Lumina Tarot and the Transcendental Tarot
How to Use This Spread
• Pause & center yourself before pulling the cards. Think about a recent interaction or trigger that’s been on your mind.
• Journal your reflections—do any of the cards reveal an unexpected truth?
• Sit with the discomfort. If a card challenges you, resist the urge to explain it away. What is it asking you to see?
✨ The mirror is always there. The real question is—are you willing to look?
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one
1. What is being reflected back to me in my relationships right now? (Judgment rx)
Judgment reversed suggests that there might be unresolved issues or a sense of denial about past actions or patterns, causing you to repeat certain dynamics without moving forward. What comes up when you read this? Trust that.
2. What part of myself am I struggling to see or accept? (Ace of Cups)
There’s a part of you that wants to open your heart more fully, but fear or past hurt may be holding you back from expressing or accepting love freely.
And that’s okay. But this in an exercise in where to look.
3. How can I work with this reflection instead of resisting it? (Queen of Pentacles)
The Queen of Pentacles asks you to nurture yourself and create a space for growth and emotional abundance.
This is a time to care for YOU as you would someone you love, grounding yourself and allowing your emotional energy to flow freely without fear of judgment or rejection. What if you wrote a love note to yourself.
Really. Try it.
4. What shifts when I bring love and understanding to this part of myself? (Queen of Cups rx)
When you allow yourself to nurture your emotions without pushing them down or avoiding them, you create an opportunity for deep emotional healing.
The Queen suggests that there’s a tendency to suppress your feelings, but by acknowledging them, you can allow for emotional clarity to emerge.
What’s emerging now?
Summary
This spread reveals a pattern of emotional stagnation and resistance in your relationships, often stemming from unresolved emotions or an inability to fully embrace love.
Whew! That’s a lot to write, and I’m sure a lot to hear.
The good news: through self-compassion, you can begin to work through these blockages, letting your heart to open more freely.
When you accept your emotional vulnerabilities, you’ll begin to experience a deeper, more fulfilling connection with both yourself and others.
xo
two
1. What is being reflected back to me in my relationships right now? (Queen of Pentacles)
This suggests that you’re seeking a grounded, practical connection, possibly desiring more balance or support from those around you. It might also be showing you where you’re stepping into a caretaking role and how that impacts your sense of self-worth and energy.
Are you giving more to others than yourself?
2. What part of myself am I struggling to see or accept? (6 of Cups rx)
The 6 of Cups reversed invites you to examine your past and how it’s influencing your current emotional state.
There may be lingering feelings of nostalgia or unresolved childhood wounds that you’re avoiding, preventing you from seeing how those experiences are shaping your present relationships.
What comes up when you think of “childhood wounds”? Don’t try and solve all of this at once. Just notice and observe what wants to come up.
3. How can I work with this reflection instead of resisting it? (6 of Pentacles rx)
This card calls you to recognize any imbalance in your relationships—whether you’re giving too much or not receiving enough.
Again, there’s a theme here of giving more to others than yourself. And that’s sooooo common. It means you care.
The 6 of Pentacles reversed asks you to practice healthy boundaries, making sure you give yourself some time when you need to rest or say no.
4. What shifts when I bring love and understanding to this part of myself? (Justice rx)
When you bring love and understanding to yourself, particularly when addressing past wounds, you allow the scales to begin to balance. Good news!
Justice reversed speaks to a sense of imbalance or maybe even feeling wronged, but with a little compassion and self-reflection, you can allow for healing and deeper understanding.
And that’s where your path, at least today, is leading you.
Summary
In your relationships, there’s a need to find balance and reciprocity, while also addressing emotional baggage from the past.
Take this slow. Write things down and revisit them over the next few days.
You might be struggling with patterns of over-giving or unresolved issues, but you hold the power to begin to heal those wounds. The work ahead involves balancing both your past and present.
xo
And with that, friends, I wish you a beautiful weekend filled with love…from you, for you.
PS: When you’re ready, here’s some other stuff you might like:
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🔥Ready to go deeper? My 1:1 tarot calendar is open if you’re craving a personal reading.